Go Ask Alice

Go Ask Alice

By Anonymous

This is “true” diary of a girl in the 1970s who gets involved with drugs.

This book is insanely popular with middle schoolers or young readers…probably mainly because it talks so much about drugs and there are also some descriptions of sex. This is some serious contraband for a 12 year-old.

I am not twelve.

I read this book because it is a classic in terms of YA lit, particularly those dealing with ‘real issues’ for teens.

Let me sum up my experience and opinion with this quote from the book:

“Another day, another blowjob.”

This is an actual quote from the book. I immediately laughed, read it out loud, and then laughed with Austin. It has now become my favorite quote of all time. Not really.

First off, I am pretty sure you would have to be a moron to think that there is ANY chance that this is a true story. Either that, or you grew up in an afterschool special made in 1956.

This chick goes from trying drugs, to being addicted, to dropping out of school to deal, to becoming a crack whore, to running away, to being gang raped, to ending up in a mental hospital over the other evil druggies trick her into taking drugs after she has decided to sober up…to, I really do hate to spoil this well-written and conceived ending, over-dosing and dying within a year or so. It is so absurd I could hardly deal with it.

This is the book that a clueless parent gives a kid when pot is found on the school grounds… “This will scare him/her out of ever trying drugs!”

The lesson of this story is this: if you try drugs once, you will fall apart completely and you will die.

Do you hear me?

YOU WILL DIE!

I am not advocating drug use, but I would appreciate kids getting an honest or realistic depiction of the repercussions. You know, like grades suffering or hanging out with the wrong crowd and the trouble this can lead to…. Not becoming a crack whore within a few months.

As a kid, I was terrified of trying drugs because I feared realistic repercussions to my academic life, my relationship with my mom, and possible damage to my body (my lungs, especially). I was not afraid of getting gang raped by a bunch of LSD-loving boutique owners in San Francisco or of getting slipped drugs at a party and ending up beating myself up to the point where I am locked in a mental institution. These were not my concerns… as I had a brain.

I can’t lie… I hated this book. I rolled my eyes so much that I got a migraine. I can’t even write about it anymore due to the intensity of my hate.

Do not go ask Alice, do not go ask her anything.